Surfacing Feelings
by Riv
Summary: Hidden feelings start to emerge amongst the gang.
1. Love Takes Form

Disclaimer: Do not own these people, just messing their lives up.

I you wanna put this somewhere (like you'd wanna do that!) tell me where it's going and chances are I'll say yes.

One sided f/f love so if this offends you please go away, plenty of other good fics out there for you to read.

****

Surfacing Feelings 

I have to admit it, when I looked into her room and found her crying it made me freeze, I'd never heard her cry before. She'd always been arrogant and self sure, never allowing any one to see her in a moment of weakness. I walked up beside her and sat next to her, a few seconds passed before she cuddled in close to me and hugged me, I held her whilst she sobbed, all the pain she was feeling poured out. It must have been 4 minutes before her tears subsided, she pulled back and looked at me, shame showing slightly in her face.

"Sorry", she mumbled, I reached out and stroked her hair out of her eyes and flashed her a smile.

"It's okay, sounded like you needed to let that out, you gonna be okay now?", I asked, she nodded and cuddled in close to me again.

"I hate it here, I hate them all, Cloud, Barrett, Cid, Vincent.....I hate them all. they treat me like some little kid who can't do a thing for herself", she whispered.

"They just don't know how else to be, you did kinda betray us in Wutai", I smiled gently, she shrugged but I saw a pleased grin start to cover her face.

"Yeah I guess", she giggled, "That was cool wasn't it?". Then she suddenly dropped back into her misery and shifted from her seat beside me to face me.

"They....the others.......were dishing out the stuff we found last trip.....I mean it's not like I expected much but part of that is rightly mine and they.....told me I couldn't be trusted with it, that they'd keep it for me", she explained, "Knew I shouldn't have gone along on that stupid mission". 

"Why did you then?", I asked, she hung her head and blushed, I cocked my head on one side and watched as she tried to use that cocky charm of hers to get out of the situation.

"I........went because........because you went", she mumbled, I tried to think that through, something didn't seem quite right about that statement. She looked at me cautiously for a few seconds before she moved in and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. I jerked back immediately and she went deathly pale.

"Oh God Tifa, I'm so so so sorry", she babbled before making a break for the door with inhuman speed, I sat there for a few seconds, still a little dazed, before I got my act together and chased after her. I caught up with her just as she reached her bedroom door and slammed it behind herself.

"Yuffie....open up", I called through the door.

"Leave me alone, I said I was sorry, can't we just leave it at that?", she replied. I stood there for a few minutes, hoping she'd change her mind. She didn't. I turned back and made my way to the living room where the others were sat watching Cloud get thrashed by Barrett on Tekken. I sat beside Red XIII on the floor and watched as Cloud was knocked out. I had a feeling this was going to be a long break.

.

.

There you go. As with my LotR version I'll probably get round to doing all the characters at some point but with school holidays over it could take a while......

**__**

R&R!!!!!!!!!!!!


	2. Late Night Musings

Disclaimer: Do not own these people, just messing their lives up. 

This is from Vincent Valentine's point of view. 

. 

**Surfacing Feelings**

I find it quite amusing actually, the way love can change you, the way it cuts into you and pulls you about, playing with your emotions and pounding at your soul. Love is so peculiar, I wish I could understand how it can bring you to your knees in misery and pain. How it can cause someone to kill relentlessly or to take their own life. Love can be so cruel. Look at the anger it causes the anguish it starts, the arguing that results from it. Why would someone put themselves through that? Why did I put myself through that, what is it the attracts us to love, that makes us radiate towards it at the first possible chance? 

Perhaps it is the way that we feel invincible when love controls our heart, perhaps it is the way it makes us feel warm deep in our heart everytime a loved one smiles or speaks, or how it makes us feel when we're with a loved one. When we find a love we hope that this time love will not destroy, will not attack us and leave us in misery, we hope that we can control it this time, that we have finally found the one person in this world who is ours. 

She was my one, the one who made my life complete and she was taken from me in a cruel twist of fate. I know that it was to be, nothing happens on this earth unless it is supposed to be but still the pain tugs at my heart, batters my soul. I can think of nothing else and it's driving me insane. They've told me that I will love again, that it is possible for me to love another with the strength I loved her. I do not believe them, let them think what they will but my love for her will live forever. Maybe I can love again, maybe love will once again fly through my heart like a bird. But when it does there will always be a place in there for her. 

Like I said before love is so confusing. 

I sit some days, just sit and watch the people around me. They are so oblivious to what they are telling me, I could be deaf and still be able to tell what it is they are feeling. People simply do not sit and let the world pass them by for any length of time. Everything has to be done yesterday or sooner. 

My friends are the most confusing people of all, telling people one thing yet giving off an entirely different message. Cloud stands in front of Tifa, one of the sweetest and most naive girls I've ever met, and tells her he loves her. Yet all the while his eyes are watching aother with deep love and adoration. Tifa puts on her happiest facade in public and tells everyone of the blissful relationship she has with Cloud, but I can see her unhappiness. Like me she knows Cloud loves another and she is simply there to fill in a gap, I do not understand why she puts up with him, she could be happier with another, there are so many people out there who deserve her why can she not see them? 

Yuffie hides behind that ninja bravado and pretends she is a full fledged warrior when deep down she is just a scared teenager, scared of how her feelings are changing and how she is becoming an adult. I have seen her out at night sometimes, when she thinks no-one is around, she sits in the boughs of the trees and gazes out at the stars. I know she feels dirty for what she feels for Tifa, in this world we live in how could she not? There are so many out there who would try and drive her to take her own life if she were to be who she really is. My heart aches in sympathy for her. 

Red and Cait feel useless like they cannot be trusted and they are not part of our loop of friends, I can understand how they feel that way. Cait is still trying to make up for that one time he betrayed the group. I forgave him a long time ago yet some of the others have not, Barrett cannot find it within himself to let go and Cloud has simply ignored him for the last few weeks. Red feels like he cannot fit in because he is not human or even human like in appearance and actions, he tries so hard sometimes, like when the group sit down for a tournament on that contraption ....the Playstation I believe they call it. He tries to play, tries to be like them.....but knows he never can be, it hurts him. 

Barrett and Cid are very much the same, men who want to be loved but block everyone out and keep themselves distanced from others. They try not to look unsociable but no matter how they try to disguise it they always do. They are the ones who stand at the door whilst the rest of the party are dancing to the slow song. I suppose it must be hard for them, Barrett lost his wife all those years ago, I doubt he will ever come to terms with that. Cid feels he cannot be loved and the way he goes about it I am starting to believe he wants it to be true. 

Finally I reach Aeris, only the gods above know what she must have suffered, dying and becoming one with the planet only to be pulled out of her peaceful harmony. I can imagine that an event such as the one she has been through can hurt someone physically and emotionally, I sometimes wonder how she can get through the days. Yet she tries to remain cheerful and loving even when she wants to reveal her anger and not hide it inside for any longer. 

It sometimes feels like I know them better then they know themselves and I do not feel happy with that knowledge. I pray that they will come to terms with what they are feeling and let themselves feel true happiness again. 


	3. Confessions

****

Surfacing Feelings

Red XIII keenly watched Yuffie's door, she hadn't been out for at least 5 hours and he was certain there was something wrong. Tifa had been acting peculiar as well, trying to avoid any questions involving the young ninja, trying to hide away from the others. They had something to hide and Red XIII wanted to know what, it was hurting them and he wanted to help, wanted to do something for them. He got up and padded over to Yuffie's door and tapped on it with a paw and waited patiently.

"Go away Tifa", Yuffie mumbled, Red XIII's beliefs were confirmed, something had happened between the two. 

"It's Red", he called, he heard some shuffling inside the room and the door creaked open, Yuffie peered out and stepped back, allowing Red into the room. He softly walked through and looked around Yuffie's room, taking in everything.

"What do you want?", Yuffie asked, Red turned and looked at her, cocking his head on one side.

""What's happened Yuffie? Why are you hiding in here? Why does Tifa look like her best friend has died?", Red asked. Yuffie flushed and looked away from Red. 

"I dunno", she lied...badly. Red laughed humourlessly and shook his head.

"Don't take me for a fool Yuffie, I can see something has happened, what is it?", he asked, turning his head and looking at Yuffie's desk. Yuffie panicked and went to move something from the desk, Red stopped her. There were at least 3 photos of Tifa and none of anyone else, not even Yuffie's family.

"You love her don't you?", Red asked, looking at the photos before returning his attention to the young ninja in front of him and raising one eyebrow in questioning.

"I.....", Yuffie started, and shook her head, the tears threatening to fall. She breathed deeply and looked up. She nodded and the tears tumbled.

"Yes....and it's disgusting", she whispered, not daring to look at Red for fear of finding hate in his eyes. Red padded over to sit beside her.

"No it's not, it's okay, you can't help who you love", Red replied, Yuffie shook her head.

"Can you go?", she asked, wiping her eyes and turning away from her friend. Red nodded and walked over to the door.

"If you ever need someone to talk to...I'm here", he said gently before leaving the girl to her own thoughts.


End file.
